Phoenix Tattoo Idea

I grabbed a piece of scrap paper (which you can tell by the black words peeking through the white), and had about 4 different images of phoenixes that other artists had drawn.  I picked up a pen (which happened to have bright blue ink), a white-out tape dispenser, and just started drawing.  I was using certain ideas from the drawings I had in front of me, but most of this came from my imagination.  For the first time in a long time, I had a surge of creativity and the desire to create.

I found out that the phoenix is my spirit animal without even really trying to.  It just happened.  I don't quite remember exactly how, but I remember getting this feeling when I learned more about phoenixes.  I always just thought they were fiery birds that looked pretty.

Upon researching them, I figured out that if there was one creature that I could relate most to, it is the phoenix (even if it is mythical).

Here's the history behind the phoenix. (Yes, that's a link.)

Anyway, I suffered from severe depression starting in junior high school which later progressed into Bipolar Disorder with a tendency to depression, along with anxiety.  I still struggle with it every day.  The phoenix is such a strong symbol to me because phoenixes represent a death and a rebirth.  They represent a new life, and I like to think of the flames as a symbol for strength.  Relating that to myself, my illness was my "death" of sorts.  My getting through the depression and my perseverance was the rebirth.  I have come out stronger, with even brighter flames than before.  I went through hell  for a very long period of my life (phoenixes were fabled to live over 1400 years before rebirth), but I made it through and now I am anew and ready to face the world.

Since drawing this, I realized it would make a great tattoo for my back (probably not in blue, though).

As you all probably know, I have a semicolon tattoo on my left wrist, which is also very meaningful for me.  A semicolon is symbolic of a sentence an author could have ended, but chose not to.  I am the author, and the sentence in my life.  Here's a picture of said tattoo:

I honestly never would have guessed that I would ever get a tattoo of any kind, but now I am seriously considering getting the phoenix one I drew.  I get excited just thinking about it, honestly.  The tattoo of the phoenix will probably cost somewhere from $400-$700 depending on the size and the colors used.  Looks like I have some saving to do.  

Beautiful

This is an old post I wrote back in 2012 (which I now realize was 3 years ago).  I figured I would start off my new blog by posting this (I have slightly edited it to fit me better).  I have two other blogs but I no longer use them.  Here's to a new blog.  Cheers!

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Sometimes my breath might smell bad.  I might fart a lot, and my hair isn't perfect.  My burps are louder than most peoples'.  I have big feet and my underarms aren't the prettiest.  I have really thick legs and I'm a little overweight.  I'm not a size 0 or a size small; in fact, I'm a large.  My teeth aren't the whitest, my stomach isn't flat, and my ears are shaped oddly.  I sweat a lot, even if it's not super hot (there's this thing called heat intolerance, which is awful).  I'm definitely not the most classy of ladies out there. I have Bipolar, anxiety, and chronic asthma, and when I swim water goes up my nose (no matter how hard I try to stop it).  I brush my teeth in the shower because I make too much of a mess otherwise.  I have to pee far too often, and I have a jealousy issue.  I'm not the best musician, nor am I the best artist.  I'm overly sensitive, and act like I'm ten sometimes.  I get nervous and shaky at certain times.  I don't shave every day, and I don't follow the trends.  I'm not "hip" or cool, and I don't wake up early everyday to do my hair and makeup.  I don't use any product in my hair except shampoo and conditioner.  I'm too silly at serious times, and I screw things up in ways I never imagined were possible.  I don't smoke weed or drink alcohol.

That's who I am. I'm Jennifer Pamela Mitzman, and I'm far from perfect.

I may be ashamed about these traits, but y'know what?  At least I am who I am.  I try damn hard just to get through and assure myself that I'm pretty at the end of the day.

Well y'know what society? Fuck you.

I'm beautiful without your consent.